He’s gone up an X since last tour, but don’t go down that yellow brick road with him…

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Looks like a morph of Eugene Terreblanche and an Orangutan cross-dresser… golf swing doesn’t disagree…

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Duh… What date….?  

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Und I only vund to hear vun klik!! sunz ov pitchez!!

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Love struck Spud bitch… Priorities have moved from golf to shopping and the paps…

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Best described as a cross between a modern day Oscar Wilde and an ageing Freddie Mercury. Also goes by the name Rocket Man – apparantly  given to him recently whilst trying to “buy” his way out of jail. Wrote the “Bluffers guide to golf” – critics describe it as an easy read. Little known fact:…

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De Niro with his driver, Pacino with his putter, Liberace with his love muscle… Oops… wrong movie!!

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Flies Coconut Airways. Manages Coconut Airports. Smokes coconuts. Has a lovely pair of …

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Known at Telkom as Blue Plaque, they offered him free golfing holidays for life to reduce his email volumes…

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Frikkie is sure he knows the difference between the Papal residence and the Home of Golf…

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Oh, this old thing… (giggle)… my hair’s a mess… by the way, can I show you the charms of the Karmasutra… have you heard of the Floating Butterfly?

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Barking mad!!… but still savvy enough to have all your cash faster than you can say “but the paint’s still wet!”

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Chances of The Hoff winning the tour this year… Nun… hasn’t a prayer… won’t get into the winning habit…

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A lamb in sheep’s clothing… will need to shoot his age to win, mind you, 85 is quite doable…

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Reigning Champ and big cheese; will he need to Stavwink to defend his title? I smell a rat…

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