2024 Players Currently attending anger management therapy for slow play. Is a world authority on lamb shank preparation. Has a tattoo on his arse that says “If you’re reading this, we’re in prison”.
2024 Players The Dogdish Jeppe boy voted most likely to marry his cousin . Was an exotic dancer at the Blue Oyster Bar before joining the navy. Secretly harbours a desire to
2024 Players Wanted to become a ventriloquist but the puppet couldn’t get a word in. He is able to hold several conversations simultaneously. In fact most conversations on tour involve him. Nightmare
2024 Players Always performs a quick cash flow projection before teeing up in front of water. Prefers all his clothing in orange except his overalls. He considers SPR (shanks per round) as the
2024 Players Friends are all stupid and don’t know nothing. Famous for his one day swing. Has as much chance of winning tour as Italy winning the World Cup
2024 Players Introduces himself and starts each sentence with “Are you a champion?”. The first non gringo to lift the trophy. Nightmare Scenario: Removal of the word “gimme” from the golfing dictionary. Swing
2024 Players Considers himself a leading collector of vintage golf shirts. Always bemoans not being straight on tour. Nightmare Scenario 1: Any dogleg left. Nightmare Scenario 2: Full Tilt showing him how to
2024 Players Has a hapless desire to be known as WWIII. Previously known as Tiffany. Favorite pronoun: They. Drink of choice: Bud light
2024 Players Brings a new measure of performance to Fatcat (KPR). When not playing golf, he sells products with a tight seal.
2024 Players He disappears faster after 9pm than his grey hairs on a trip to Denmark. The only thing he can beat with his eyes closed is insomnia. As much chance of
2024 Players Tries hard to convince everybody that he actually works in Mauritius. Fondly referred to as “Island Boy” in his local Hells Angel charter. Has about as much chance of winning
2024 Players A sheep in wolf’s clothing. Considers himself “The most desirable” on tour. Sometimes unfairly referred to as “gums” having relinquished his Fines master role. Swing Analysis: What he lacks in
2024 Players Fully Bilingual – Speaks fluent English and Fox News. Claimed the 2015 Marbella CC Junior Championship. Has about as much chance of winning tour as Hilary going to jail.
2024 Players Recently wrote an article titled “Gender Identification in the modern era”. Lists his Domicilium Citandi as Pat Pong Street. Swing Analysis: Currently the subject of a dissertation titled “Unusual Biomechanical and
2024 Players Recently featured in an article on 007.com called “Bond on a budget”. A close second to Rocketman in the insomnia stakes. Nightmare Scenario: Getting bunker advice from Canthitabal.
2024 Players CFO and poultry evangelist for Woodchuck Chicken.Similar to a greek but not as hard working. Describes himself as a day trader … in gyros. Good for a top twenty four
2024 Players The Tommy Hillfiger of Fatcat. VDCP calls him Poepchic. Nightmare Scenario: Getting dressed in front of a full length mirror. His personal challenge – a needs analysis of Rabbi’s wardrobe
2024 Players Now looking for a second assistant given his expected workload this year. Nightmare Scenario: Having to foot any alcohol bill. Has about as much chance of winning as being nominated
2024 Players Has this year managed to reduce his swing thoughts to under 25. Nightmare scenario: Playing with Chewbacca, Oom Tromp and Magoogle in the same four ball. Most regrettable words spoken
2024 Players His goal is to one day shoot his age – will be lucky to shoot his weight. Career highlights include Saturday afternoon C-division winner in 2007. Swing Analysis: Like an
2024 Players Being anywhere close to him for extended periods guarantees you an appointment with the doctor. Contributes a considerable amount of revenue at Rocky’s range. Snores in his sleep … according
2024 Players His staff see more of Halleys comet than they do him. Recently joined Alcoholics Anonymous – still drinks but uses a false name. Has about as much chance of winning
2024 Players Another Jeppe alumni although Jeppe refuse to acknowledge this. Will be more like a lawnmower than a scooter after his initial appointment with Farpiktok. Fluent in English and Nashua.
2024 Players The Dennis Thatcher of Dainfern. Travels with his own Physio. Nightmare Scenario: Being restricted to no more than 10 beers per night. Has as much chance of winning tour as Cabronski
2020 Players Paints himself as an Old Master – Only one of those attributes apply on the course. Always the last to know when it starts raining. Swing Analysis: He makes Fred
2024 Players His pre shot routine includes preparing for disappointment. His mantra on the course is never surrender – he normally wins hands down. He recently said “If I had 50c for every
2024 Players Last year he had a great joke about inflation but it’s hardly worth a laugh now. Considers himself to be the Crypto King of Melkbosstrand.
2024 Players Often likened to a squirrel on tik. He makes Full Tilt look like a wallflower. Nightmare scenario: Taking chipping advice from Chewie and Fargo
2024 Players His body turn always carries the risk of a hook, never mind a hernia. Has been known to nod off on his downswing. Has about as much chance of winning
